Wireless Wizard Pillows

'Have you considered going wireless?'

"Unless you have a 13 year-old running around, I strongly recommend you buy the 1 year technical support."

Man using wi-fi to surf the internet whilst on the lavatory

WiFi Signals

"I used to let down my hair. But since I've gone wireless, I just use all my old wires."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

All the apps hidden within a phone

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'I told you this game had realistic graphics.'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

I got the raise

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

The Town Tweeter

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

'You've got Chain Mail!'