Wire Wizard Pillows

'I started to do all my electrical work myself after I hired an electrician who was colorblind.'

Electrician

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"We only got six days of funding."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

WiFi Signals

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

If Disney was a software company

Man doing a search on a computer

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Why do you need so many computers?

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'