Wire Tamer Pillows

"...If you're still having difficulty with your connection...say 'yes'..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"You like yours well done, right?"

Busy office.

Burnt or Raw?

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

New Swiss Army Knife

Parenting Business Deals

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Dentist Training School.

"Most projects require three hands."

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Menace.

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.