Winter Weather Wisdom Gifts

"Not again! I miss the winters when I was only used once."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Electric Blanket.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

How to save on your heating bill...

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"My f-f-feet are f-f-frozen."

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

"That's the main problem with your rear wheel drive model!"

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

'Isn't it great?!'

"It's nine degrees, but with the wind chill it feels like minus two hundred seventeen."

Ice Sculpting Class.

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

Cavemen shoveling out their woolly mammoths, in the same way that modern day drivers are forced to shovel out their cars.

To Antarctica

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

"I don't care if your ears are freezing. Get those covers off!"