Winter Humor Appreciator Pillows

"What??? Surely you can't expect me to poop outside in this weather?"

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

The Salivation army.

"You have ice water in your veins."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"Oooo. That's cold."

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

"It's freezing out here - can I come in?"

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

It's a bit derivative.

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.