Winter Chucklers Pillows

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'Okay, cough.'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

'Honey... The old bag next door said I'm looking fat in white!'

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

"Damnedest eclipse I'VE ever seen."

Santa delivering newspapers

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

"I keep getting into a flap."

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'I'd like to leave a wake-up call.'

Sadly, Sid would put too much faith in the immunity idol.

"You call it 'Wordle?' Do you think it will catch on?"

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

Bike Week