Cold Weather Chuckler Pillows

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

Keyboard in Heaven

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

'Okay, cough.'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

Oh my goodness! Now these 500 cm of snow are melting!

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'Honey... The old bag next door said I'm looking fat in white!'

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

Santa delivering newspapers

'Of course it's renewable -- you just throw more sticks on it!'

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'No, not abominable. The normal kind.'

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

'I'll admit it, Hank, that's the worst backlash I have ever seen.'

Yoga - moooooooo.