Lumber Chucklers Pillows

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

World of Cow.

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

Jesus Seals the Hick...

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

Merry Christmas

'I won't introduce you - he's an arable farmer. Absolutely arable.'

'He's getting seasick again! This is the last time Joey gets to go boating.'

'Pool closed 3pm to 6pm. That's when we wash our sheets.'

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."