Wine Connoisseurs Gifts

"Of course you're getting mixed signals. We're lesbians."

Two Men Smoking and Discussing Fashion.

'The house wine sir.'

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Yoga vs. Prosecco

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

French wine

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'