Window Repair Amateur Gifts

Attack of footballs.

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"The blow drier is broken."

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"Was it a fuse?"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Turn down the bass."

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

DIY store.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

As icebergs form in the river, a man's house breaks up similarly

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

I'd like to help, ma'am, but your dishwasher came with a "do not resuscitate" order.

"A little high and inside."

Warren was aware of his Carpenter Ant problem, but the sight of the Plumber Bee had him really concerned.

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'