Win-collector T-Shirts

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Cat Show

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Wine of the Day Club

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"We're a family here and you'll be like a son to me - illegitimate, of course."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'Red for me, please.'

Wine

"Please feel free to browse."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

Backdoor

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

A Good Year.

'Hey Dad, how about a game of ispy?'

'...and this one is for knowing what all the others are for.'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize, Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

Hen Behaving Badly.

"I've had my eye on you for some time, Parker....just what is it you're supposed to do around here?"

"And here is the winning board of the year."