Prize Collectors T-Shirts

"It's expensive and difficult, but at least if you win, you get to take home a huge piece of garbage."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Award Winning Gardener

Dad Trophies

Cat Show

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

'Guess what? I won again.'

Pinata Trophies

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

First Prize!

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.