Award Collectors T-Shirts

"And here is the winning board of the year."

'... and I got this one for being a dishwasher.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Victors

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Award Winning Gardener

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Dad Trophies

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Caricatures $20"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Pinata Trophies

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

First Prize!

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."