Wimbledon Worshipper Gifts

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Church for sports worshipers.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

Ohm sweet Ohm

When John Isner got home

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

You can take the girl out of Wimbledon...

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

I don't know much about Tennis...

Church Parking

'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"Fantastic service, lousy food."