Wimbledon Worshipper Gifts

Pete Sampras

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Church for sports worshipers.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Marilyn's Rushmore

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Jennifer Aniston

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Fitness in church.

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Ohm sweet Ohm

When John Isner got home

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

You can take the girl out of Wimbledon...

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

Church Parking

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

I don't know much about Tennis...

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

Wimbledon Tennis Winners.

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'