Wimbledon Gifts

'Is it Wimbledon fortnight already?'

"Gosh is it Wimbledon fortnight already?"

The longest tennis match in history at Wimbledon.

'She's always like this when Wimbledon ends.'

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'Quick...where's Wimbledon? I'm bursting!'

Murray out of Wimbledon...

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

"Quiet please... the players are about to begin grunting."

"Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?"

"I'm sorry but after 'Henman Hill' and 'Murray Mound' we're really only interested in supporting players whose names rhyme with the local topography."

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

"God, I hate Wimbledon fortnight!"

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I'm part of the 'white line' team at Wimbledon!

' ... and there is still no play at Wimbledon - so here's Sue Barker chopsing for yet another two hours!'

Henman Hill...Henman Mountain (winning Wimbledon).

'It's not fair Victoria! They cheer Henman when he knocks it over the net!'

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

Meghan Markle at Wimbledon

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

In the Guru District

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Life is for the birds.