Wildlife Strategist Gifts

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

Deer using social media to avoid a hunter.

'I warned Leonard - be careful. The deer in these woods are clever and unpredictable.'

'For the last time, we're leaving it here, because a lone zebra will not sleep until it knows that one of its own is on the lookout.'

'Wait until he starts to eat his lunch then we'll make a break for it.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Monkey-artist

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

Save the unicorn.

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"Touché"

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Climate Change

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Caliologist

"Works every time."

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

'What should we do? It's an endangered animal eating an endangered plant!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

"Here's the news: the Maharajah's tiger-hunt is on Tuesday afternoon. You've been warned..."

"He's not on the critical list, but he's on the Endangered Species list."