Wildlife Strategy Gifts

Good duck, bad duck.

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

Zoo: No Hunting.

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Climate Change

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

Rubbish Carousel

Caliologist

"Works every time."

"I belonged to the Audubon Society."

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

Sea Change.

Fish Farm - 'Oh no! It's a skool of our poos!'

Wolf Reintroduction.

An anglerfish lights up rubbish at the bottom of the ocean

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

A bird is strangled by plastic carrier bag, which bears the slogan: Dispose of with care.

Gulf of Mexico - Twinned with Bhopal.

'As for myself, I never thought I was that interesting.'

A polar bear holds a press conference.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

"The nominees"

"Nope. No fish."