Wild Swimming Enthusiast Gifts

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Well, I guess it's your father's fault for mounting that backboard on the barn in the first place. ... OK, one game...'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'My problem is if I have one, I can't quit!'

Lapdogs

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'I've never done this before.'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Rip Taylor Tide

'Okay, Jimmy, you're been in there way too long now...'

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

No petting in the pool!

Lost: Grizzly Bear. 8 Years Old. Loves To Sneak Up On People.

Bill Shankland

Motor Channel Crossing.

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Help! Cold! Help!'

'I always thought he was in great shape. I mean he swam constantly.'

'What do you mean stop him - he's become the main attraction.'

"Don't high five the lion again."

"I rescue swimmers. He rescues phones dropped by swimmers."