Wild Animal Tamer Gifts

"So much for your idea of having a pet!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Litter Tray Training

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Getting Rid of the Cure

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Education Guidance

"She does this when she's tired."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"So...what are you in for?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'Is that you, dear?'

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

"And for your entree, sir?"

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

Circus Act

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Matador.