Bull And Bear Tamer Gifts

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Lovely dovetail."

Not you. Your hair.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parenting Business Deals

Getting Rid of the Cure

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"In the stock market going back up, Horace?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"Because we're jerks."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"