Bull And Bear Tamer Pillows

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parenting Business Deals

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Education Guidance

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"In the stock market going back up, Horace?"

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

'He micromanages all our trades.'

"Because we're jerks."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"

'OK, Son - put the glass over it and I'll slip the paper under it - then we can carry it out to the garden.'