Wikileaks Whiz Gifts

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Nerd tryouts.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

I've always been slower than computers...

"What's that you're reading?"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'How fast can you hype?'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."