Whitening Wizard Gifts

"Jane, this is an intervention. Your teeth are white enough."

Candle Portraits.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Dung Beetle Pottery Class.

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'You asked for the 'Cartoonists' Cut'. You got the Cartoonists' Cut'. What's the problem?'

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

Cleaning service on skates.

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

Bad hair day.

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

"To beat or not to beat."

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Grim reaper calls on egg.

Don't tell me not to burn the candle at both ends --- Tell me where to get more wax! (Published previously on July 22, 2010).

Artist

'I'm here to test the magic 8-ball.'

Whisk

"So. . . you're back!"

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

The Bored Impressionist

I give up. What is it?

'Gone out your dinner is in the food blender'

Curling & curling while curling.