White-lie Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Why's the sky so high?' - 'So the birds don't bump their heads.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

The Red Baron meets his match.

Stephen Fry.

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"How sweet of you to say -- and how dare you!"

Know-it-alls

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

Jugular Vein

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

Wrangling War Films How to make and Fake them: VI A Zeppelin Raid on a Poultry Farm in the Vosges District

Aleksandr Griboyedov

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

'I never know when you're joking!'

"Look. Ms. Shelby has a blankie."

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

"I just got accepted to Yale." "I'd jump up and down for joy but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense."

'Are you choking or are you serious?'