White Lie Analyzer T-Shirts

"I'm not lying. I'm social distancing."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'Why's the sky so high?' - 'So the birds don't bump their heads.'

Confirmation Bias

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"We need to discuss your expense account."

Supreme Court Crunch

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

NBS NEWS DIVISION, 'You've written a nice editorial on Sarah Palin here, but change 'said' to 'spewed,' and 'speech' to 'vitriol.''

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"

The idea of democracy in some former East Bloc-countries...

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

European Crisis management.

"The first rule in business, mother, is to never trust anyone. Now go back and walk through the metal detector again...slowly."

'Now they're saying our financing is being pulled. I'd love to know how these crazy rumors get started.'

Personnel Screening. Do you have any objection to taking a lie detector test? Is my answer part of the test?

"I operate under the assumption that man is basically good."

First Projected Loser in November.

"I finally figured out who you copy."

"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."

"Call it intuition or whatever, but I can't help thinking you may not be telling the truth."

The Politician's Tongue.

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'I don't get it.'

"I told you I was working late, why don't you ever believe me?"

Collateral Damage in the Great Trump Tariff War

"Do you want the 10-minute truth, or the 5-second lie?"

'You're not very trusting are you?'

If the election were held today ... wouldn't you be glad that it's finally over with?

"Everyone's a bottomless pit of something."

"It was so sudden. You were lucky to find a sponsor."