White Elephant Specialist Gifts

'They saw you coming.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Caliologist

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'Obama's letting all the progress we made in Iraq go right down the drain...He's trying to distract everybody...'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Ophiologist

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite.'

'The elephant man turned out to be just another Republican.'

"We need him. He gives us a unique perspective."

What Is This Crap?

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite,'

'. . . and nobody noticed the elephant in the room.'

'Sure it tastes like salt,it is salt.'

Elephants

Pest Control.

Rose-colored glasses.

'I always said there should be some limit to biodiversity.'

'I count four meerkats and one coolcat.'

"I think I'd like to start seeing other elephant trainers, Rolf."

GOP: NO