Whisky Warrior Gifts

'Gimme all your money, or the single malt gets it!'

"A large scotch, please - I can't go back to the office with wine on my breath."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Whiskey wars

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

"The lunch, grab the lunch!"

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'I figured I was in hell when I saw the wine list - 800 selections, and they're all white zinfandels.'

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Each year the Kayaks made their way upstream."

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Typical! One sip and he slips out for a shootout!"

"Forget the Gin Sling, I'll have a whisky and soda."

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

Cat boxer

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'You've had enough.'

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies