Whisky Warrior Gifts

'Gimme all your money, or the single malt gets it!'

"A large scotch, please - I can't go back to the office with wine on my breath."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Whiskey wars

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"The lunch, grab the lunch!"

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'I figured I was in hell when I saw the wine list - 800 selections, and they're all white zinfandels.'

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"Each year the Kayaks made their way upstream."

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Typical! One sip and he slips out for a shootout!"

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

"Forget the Gin Sling, I'll have a whisky and soda."

Cat boxer

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'You've had enough.'

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!