Whiskey Drinker Gifts

'Honest, MacDuff — I was only trying Irish whiskey!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

The Reaper's Arms

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Wine at the Bar