Whimsical Wit Pillows

"I am in so much trouble."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

Bret drops back in the pocket and disappears into Federal Witness Protection Program.

'She's expecting pins.'

'He has his father's feet.'

'Hit me in the head with a sledgehammer.'

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

A heron wearing waders.

"I'll have him ring you back, at the moment he's feeding the fish. . ."

"Do you realize that all your huffing and puffing is just spreading dangerous germs?"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I said slime."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Mother Goose's Haiku

The Nihilist Deli.

'Sheep striptease'.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

Snowman Tattoo