Whimsical Wit Watcher Pillows

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Frogs

Snowman Driver

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

Paper Boy

"Inactivists"

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'This is a no rise office.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'He has his father's feet.'

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"I am in so much trouble."

Hungry rabbit attacking carrot nose of snowman.

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

A heron wearing waders.

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'Today's surprise stock rise was not in reaction to anything. It was entirely unprovoked and spontaneous!'

'Intriguing how the eyes follow you round the room . . .'

Fearless Frog Part 15

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'