Whimsical Visionary Gifts

I just had a lovely dream - the world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting.

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Selfie Stick

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Yes, one is a dog."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"

"Right here's fine."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Spring Training

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fishing for Birds

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

A man rakes a tree