Whimsical Tale Lover Gifts

'At the old woman who swallowed a fly's post-mortem'

Damsel NOT in distress.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

The Fourth Little Pig

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"My God! There goes middle management."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Sleeping Beauty.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Ask A Silly Question.

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Tooth fairy pays with card

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'

Fat fairy

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.