Whimsical Rule Questioner Gifts

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Scuba cow"

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

A man rakes a tree

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fishing for Birds

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

Alice in Wonderland - six impossible things before breakfast

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'