Whimsical Homeowner Gifts

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Mouse real estate!

"Forget it Stan - maybe one day... you could rent it."

"Look. Living on the Green Belt makes our home worth a lot more!"

Painting by the numbers for adults

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'I've been a Sox fan for years.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Home Sweet Home.

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"Kick ass!"

Bird sees 'No Vacancy' sign on birdhouse

Junk Mail Shredder.

Repossessed Properties.

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

Old woman in shoe says: 'We can't afford to move, so we're just having a few improvements made.'

The Old Woman in the Shoe's summer home.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe's Beachside Place.