Whimsical Giggler Pillows

Santa in hospital bed with intravenous milk and cookies in situ.

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Get on with it!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'It was this big. I swear'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

2pm meet your Creator

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

Black Hole Corks

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Confession Ratings.