Whimsical Dater Gifts

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"And you wanted to throw me back."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"You need a mint."

"Wanna do lunch?"

"He's a terrible drunk."

Spud dating.

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Obviously a cry for help.'

"You're all arms Rodney."

Ventrilamatch.com

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

Giraffe helping with a date.

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'