Western Novels Collector Gifts

All-Verbal Westerns

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Dawing your Cellphone

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Draw!

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

Redlaw and the Phantom

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Wild West Text Showdown

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,