Western Novels Collector Gifts

All-Verbal Westerns

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Dawing your Cellphone

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Draw!

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Redlaw and the Phantom

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

Wild West Text Showdown

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

"Who are you callin' a low down snake-in-the-grass? That's upright snake-on-a-barstool to you, mister."