Western Fiction Gifts

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Meet the author"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

New Guy.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Dawing your Cellphone

Nun Fight.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

High Riders of the Old West

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Deliboys

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."