Western Genre Gifts

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Lonesome for home, Cowboy: Tumbleweeds...$14.99.

Whenever company came over, the lone ranger would always bring out his good silver.

"I had no choice, sheriff. He drew on me."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

New Guy.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

Nun Fight.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Dawing your Cellphone

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Historic Bank Jobs.