Western Novels Gifts

Bowling Alley Hostages

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

In an effort to be friendly, Abe unwittingly seals his fate.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Meet the author"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

New Guy.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Nun Fight.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Dawing your Cellphone

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

High Riders of the Old West

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Historic Bank Jobs.