Western Novel Reader Gifts

"If I don't get to shoot somebody soon, I'm going to have to shoot somebody."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Meet the author"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

All-Verbal Westerns

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

Dial-A-Pizza van arriving at Western Fort

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

At a silent moment - I don't know Slim, it's quiet.. a little too quiet.

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

Cowboy

A new meaning in the Roman

"Who are you callin' a low down snake-in-the-grass? That's upright snake-on-a-barstool to you, mister."

Ronald Reagan

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

"Giddyup."

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"I'd like a trigger warning."

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

No caption. (A cowboy heads toward the swinging doors of a saloon as a cat goes toward a smaller version of the same entrance).

"The butler did it!"

"If there are nuggets in the sluice, let's dine out tonight."

TV Hold Up.

George W. Bush Caricature

'Sheriff Warren instantly recognized the lone stranger, it was the infamous....Billy The Kidney.'

Although he new it was madness, Wilbur felt his hand move towards the rubber squirter bulb.