Welder Gifts

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Pipeline bends around a bear.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

Computer operator welding machine.

Cheap tattoo removal.

'I got you the iPod that I promised you, and for your convenience, I've welded it to the lawn mower.'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Welding - the search for meaning begins.

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Marge tells me you're a welder by profession.'

Celebrity Welding

'I'll teach my master for having me declawed.'

Real Welders vs. TV series Welders

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Steel fabricator

"The blow drier is broken."

"No, Joan of Arc did not invent welding."

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"Thanks to my welding ability, I finally have some privacy."

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'Next time you lose your keys, lets call a locksmith instead of blow torching the door.'

Profession : Cartoonist

'Hot Lunch.'

A welder heats his soup with a blow torch.

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

"I'd like to see your selection of blue lense glasses, please. Sitting in front of the computer with this welder's helmet is a bit much."

Environmentally Friendly Tools: Blow Torches fueled by Boy Scouts and their Camp Fires.

Now it can be told - contrary to mass expectation the five people you meet in heaven are...

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Ark Welding

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

'I don't know all that much about welding, but I really need to get a job before the end of the month.'

'I'll teach my master for having me declawed.'