Wrench Wielder Gifts

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

Truck Repairs

Mechanic.

"It's worse than I thought."

The Art Student.

Low-Energy Drinks

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'There's nothing on.'

"River well stocked this year."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Just call me Picasso!

Artist and Musician

Raphael

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

Busy day at the office.

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

Two New Paintbrushes

I'm color blind, please help.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'I had a terrible day. . . but the money was good.'

House Plant Party

Forrest Gander