Welcoming First Child Gifts

'Roly-polies!'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

Santa Claus's Mail

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"They look so young and helpless."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Little chef.

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'Guess who's teething?'

Extra innings.

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

The modern generation!

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.