Welcoming First Child Gifts

'Roly-polies!'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Madonna of the Pukes.

A young Don King

Santa Claus's Mail

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

"They look so young and helpless."

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'Guess who's teething?'

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

The modern generation!

"Which one's yours?"