Weightlifting Newbie Gifts

A Surgeon's Weights

"You could do with some weight training."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Powerful Love.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We're exclusively delts."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Exercising

DumbbellsSmartbells.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

Keep Fit.

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'