Weightlifting Gifts

"What I Did on My Summer Vacation."

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

'I don't mind you earning more money than I do, or driving a more expensive car, but do you have to bench-press more than I do, too?'

"Great grunts, next week we'll try some weights."

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

'He lifted two! That beats your world record yesterday of one.'

The Seven Second Workout

'I don't mind you earning more money than I do, Gretchen, or driving a more expensive car, but do you have to bench press more than I do, too?'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'Do you know if there's a candy machine in the building?'

'I was sent to calibrate the weights...'

Blow up muscles.

'So far, I've lost 90 dollars.'

Weightlifter

The clean and 'jerk' - weights too heavy.

Battery lifting weights

Work Out.

'They've hired a personal trainer! Now we'll never fatten them up!!'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Jewish Weightlifting

'Whoa,,, Ned hired a personal trainer for his personal trainer,'

Image changing.

'Good luck son, but genetically you are screwed.'

Yogi upside down weightlifting with feet.

'Ben, that's what I hate about this crowded gym... there's no freedom of the bench press.'

Crime rates drop 40% after prison uniforms are changed to neon pink floral patterns.

"Nice work- let's take a quick social-media break."

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

'Smile Please'

'Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fit.' (weight reduction kit).

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

'When did you start working out?'