Weight Management Worrier Pillows

"Every year it's the same old thing. Another pair of socks and another double chin."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Valleyview diet clinic

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Scales

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"You won’t need refills."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'