Weight Management Goal-setter Pillows

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Genie.

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Diet Sugar House.

'These marks measure how tall the children are growing, the others measure how wide Jeff is getting.'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

"The diet seems to be working."

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

Healthy Eating Fast

"Really should so some exercise. . . ."

"Would you like to supersize that?"

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'Look! The health food shop has been hit by the recession.'

Diet Food...& lots of it

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

"How's the diet going?"

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

"That Wu-Long tea diet is starting to look better every day."

Weight Watchers

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"What is your ideal weight?"