Weight Management Goal-setter Pillows

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Diet Sugar House.

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

Genie.

'These marks measure how tall the children are growing, the others measure how wide Jeff is getting.'

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"The diet seems to be working."

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

Healthy Eating Fast

"Really should so some exercise. . . ."

'Look! The health food shop has been hit by the recession.'

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

Weight Watchers 'Rona Routines: Flatten the Curves

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

"Would you like to supersize that?"

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

Diet Food...& lots of it

"How's the diet going?"

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

Weight Watchers

"That Wu-Long tea diet is starting to look better every day."

Talking Scales. Housewares. Sale. I used to have a talking scale, but every time I stepped on it, it couldn't get enough breath to speak.

"What is your ideal weight?"