Weight Loss Whimsy Pillows

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

Could somebody please scratch my back?

"...by the time I'm through taking my daily pills, I'm too full to eat!"

Woman at Nutrition Center has desk in and out boxes labeled Fat On and Fat Off.

A man goes to the toilet and loses weight in the process.

"We don't need menus. Just pick the healthiest dish you have and give it to us deep fried."

"I see your past life."

Fantasy Diet League

'Help!'

'Oh no, my diet plan's gone pear-shaped!'

Richter Scale