Whimsical Weight Watcher Pillows

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

Dessert Storm Veteran

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Captain steering house through flood.

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

Snowman Driver

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Unfortunately my weight is like the stock market. In the short run it goes up and down, but over the long term in keeps reaching new heights.